ART IS LIKE SEX

ART ART ART. Lately that has been all I’ve been thinking about.  


I’m actually quite busy with a lot of other things that could really use my attention. I’m working on getting my visa extension (which unless you have dealt with bureaucracies in other countries you really have no idea what all that entails), I’m still learning Portuguese (an on going process), I’m working each day preparing and teaching my English classes, and the not so small detail that I’m starting my own art school/art classes, the first art school to be taught in English here, and as with any start up business, there is a lot of trial and error and hours of preparation, brainstorming, planning…


So I have a lot of productive and important stuff to be preoccupied with, yet this past weekend my mind has not  been able to escape art…
Of course there are far worse things to be preoccupied with.

Artwork by Kristen Eager Killion, for Keagar Design.
 One of the many works I was inspired by over the weekend.
Titled, "All Tied Up", Acrylic, Rubber, and Plastic on Wood,
36.6 x 78.3"

Out of all the years in college, spent with so many different art professors, one thing people could always characterize me as, without fail, was “responsive”.  If a teacher gave me advice or a suggestion for my work, I ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS did it, even the times when I knew it would make the painting worse (and at times it did), I did it anyway.  And if you are thinking it was all for an A, you would be very wrong. 

Another Artwork by Kristen Eager

In only my second painting class I ever took, the first day of class my professor, unexpectedly (although now I know that everything is to be expected when dealing with artists) asked each of us why we were there.  She was real intense about it, didn’t accept anyone’s answer, pushing farther and farther, "but WHY are you here, for what purpose, NO that answer isn't good enough I want to know WHY?!".  At the end she told everyone, that if we weren’t there to learn, then we need to "get the hell out".  And she wasn’t kidding. 

Another artwork by 

Kristen Eager. 

In that class, I produced less successful paintings, yet learned far more than many of my other classes.  In her class we were stripped down to our very basic abilities, re-learning shapes, lines, colors, forced to paint the very basics of life, like when we literally painted mounds of dirt we brought in from outside.  

THAT is the reason I did everything a professor asked. Not because I wanted an A, but because regardless of how much I admired those who held their heads held high, I was painfully aware that I was extremely naive when it came to the art world.  And regardless of who you are, as a student you are, by definition, less experienced. 

But, I have one confession…the ONE thing I never really did that teacher after teacher pressed upon all the students to do, is look at other artwork.  Now of course I’ve looked at other artwork, I don’t mean to say it never happened, but it wasn’t something I treated as a priority.  

I've always thrived in group critiques, absolutely loving to critique and discuss artwork.  I loved every art history class, debating famous artists intensions, and even tutored AP Art History. While living in Florence, I read Leonardo da Vinci's notebooks, and became mesmerized by his way of seeing the world.  

A piece by artist Mark J. Nesbit.  Titled: One Hundredth
Materials: Plaster, soot, metallic elements and compounds
162.5cm x 152.5cm

And I've always loved galleries and museums, but for some reason it’s been hard for me to actually get in the car and go to them. And I never really went out of my way to look at other artist’s works online or anything of the sort.  Even though if an artist was introduced to me I absolutely loved glancing through all of their pieces.  

I’m not sure what my hesitation about this was…maybe it was a competitive thing, a fear of feeling inferior, self-absorption, or perhaps just laziness…

Who knows why.  But this weekend I began to really search out artwork.   There is a Linkedin artist group page, that I honest to god can’t remember how I became a part of, but this weekend I figured I might as well check out a few artworks.

Another piece by artist Mark J. Nesbit.
Titled: "The Road to Hell (Paved by
Good Intensions)"  Materials: plaster, ash
emulsion, metallic elements and compounds.

Soon it became addictive and I was curious as to what everyone was doing…everywhere in the world and in every medium...only wanting to see more and more.  Some strange and wonderful door opened (that hopefully won’t ever close again) that completely got me engaged and interested in all the current and modern art out there. 

Now, with the risk of sounding arrogant, which hopefully I finesse with my wording…

The fact is there is a lot of REALLY bad art out there.  

Okay I admit I didn’t try too hard to finesse that one.

It seems everyone has a view about what “bad art” is.  You have Oscar Wilde’s, rather harsh, perspective that “Bad art is a great deal worse than no art at all”.  

Or Marc Chagall, “When I am finishing a picture, I hold some god-made object up to it – a rock, a flower, the branch of a tree or my hand – as a final test.  If the painting stands up beside a thing man cannot make, he painting is authentic, if there’s a clash between the two, it’s bad art.”  

Or the very optimistic and overwhelmingly popular view that “there is no such thing as bad art.” 

Artist Ian MacLeod inspirational mixed media painting.
Titled: Composition #199, Materials: acrylic, paper,
plastic, varathane.  16" x 16"

Now, with as much respect as I give to Chagall, I think I have to agree with comedian, Scott Roeben on this one:  “Sex is like art, most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.”  Humorous but true. At least with art.

However, regardless of “good” or “bad” art, it needs to be said that I truly do believe that art is as much about the process as it is the result.  And that everyone, regardless of ability, should produce art, if nothing more, to just express himself or herself freely.  And I support and encourage any and all people to pick up a paintbrush and do anything that comes to them.

Another favorite from Ian MacLeod, 16" x 16"
Titled: Composition #188, Materials: acrylic, paper, plastic

With that said...when talking solely about the 'result' or 'product' of art...there is a lot of REALLY bad art out there.  However, contrary to Oscar Wilde's opinion, I don't see anything wrong with it.  It's just bad.  That's it.  In fact I have to completely disagree with him and stick by my previous blog post that if you want to get better you need to practice, therefore if you want to make good art you have to make bad art.  So instead motivating yourself by saying "there is no such thing as bad art," what you should be saying is, "of course there is bad art, and of course I've DONE bad art, because bad art makes good art possible."

Now, I didn't just see bad artwork, I of course liked at least some of the work I saw.  Which actually turned into a great inspiration for me.  

For a long time now I have been wanting to explore mixed media in my work, but for whatever reason (fear…insecurity…or whatever other obstacles us artists subconsciously create for ourselves) I never really felt that comfortable actually starting it. 

But yesterday morning, I did.  I just went for it.  I got out some glue and put on some cardboard and newspaper and went crazy.  Then painted over it doing whatever…and it felt good.  It’s certainly not my best work ever created (and certainly not finished), but its always difficult starting something new.  And you can’t expect it to look as good as the work you’ve been perfecting for years.  

Anyway, I don’t think it is a coincidence that I felt comfortable doing this yesterday after all the artwork I viewed over the weekend….probably connected...So, the moral of the story…ALWAYS ALWAYS listen to your teachers! NO EXCEPTIONS!

Since there is nothing WRONG with bad art, I don't see any reason I shouldn't share my first attempt at mixed media.  Only the first stage, and somewhat conventional in material use (particularly compared to the artists featured on this blog).  Who know what direction it will go in...but an experiment none the less.  

AN EASTER CELEBRATION OF 

RE-BIRTH

...WHATS NEXT?

Last week I was getting lunch with Thiara the mall and on our way back to the parking lot, she asked if I had been in this baby store near the exit.  When I told her I hadn't she insisted we drop in just to show me the store.  I wasn't particularly interested in a baby store and was somewhat curious as to why she would think i would be. 

When we walked in I saw a dozen babies laying in beds and baskets with pacifiers, bibs, blankets, and toys.  It looked just like a home nursery except with a lot of babies...and in a mall.  Looking around the store I became increasingly concerned as to what all these babies were doing in a store...in a MALL!  My first thought was, "Oh my god, are these abandoned babies for people to adopt and they are selling them life freaking toys in a mall!??!"

The fact that I could even consider this may come as a surprise, but I really didn't know what to think.  Not to mention that while I was living in Florence, one day walking home, I casually passed by a "baby drop box" on the side of a building in the middle of an alley.  


I really thought it was just a joke, a very elaborate joke at that, until weeks later when I was informed that it was very much NOT a joke and in fact the Italian government's response to the many abandoned babies found dead in the streets of Florence.  


In Italy, and many other countries for that matter (Japan, Russia, Germany...) you can actually anonymously drop off your abandoned baby in this box in the street.  It's like this; you put the baby in the box, and either the box is connected to a hospital, or as the ones in Florence, it is just on the side of a building and it triggers an alarm that the nuns (or in the case of a hospital the nurses) rush to collect the baby.  


I was pretty disturbed to see that in Italy.  However, on one hand I think that IF there are mothers or fathers out there that don't want their child (which in itself is a very difficult concept to grasp) and they are so ashamed to give the baby to an agency that they are leaving their babies to die in an ally, I suppose its a good thing that there is an anonymous and safe place for them to leave the baby...I suppose.


On the other hand, without intension of making this a political blog, and yes this is coming from a typical San Francisco liberal, but wouldn't it be better to just make abortion legal?  I mean if there are people willing to actually kill their babies leaving them on the streets or in trash cans, and it's SO COMMON that they need a baby drop box...then there are likely even more women neglecting their kids in other ways, less obvious but also extremely harmful.  Again, not to be overly political on a travel blog, but I think I would prefer to live in a country that allows a woman's right to choose rather than one that needs baby drop boxes.


(If you want to learn more about the baby drop boxes, you can look up 'baby hatch' on wikipedia)

Anyway back to the baby store at the mall, after seeing the baby drop boxes in Florence, I really could believe that perhaps something as potentially disturbing as a orphan store actually selling and advertising babies like merchandise could exist...I mean who knows?  

But, to my surprise Thiara said, "Os bebes nao sao de verdade", meaning the babies aren't real.  At the time the most likely possibility was that I didn't understand since the babies were so obviously real, but then I realized none of these babies were moving or making noise.  I really couldn't believe it, but when I walked closer to the shelves of babies, I realized that they were in fact baby dolls made of plastic, but were made to look so damn realistic that from only a five to ten feet distance they were as good as real.  Although it was certainly a relief they weren't selling real babies like merchandise, the store was still creeping me out.

THIS IS NOT A REAL BABY. THIS IS NOT A REAL BABY. THIS IS NOT A REAL BABY.

But wait, because it actually gets worse...

Not only do these baby dolls look creepily realistic, you can actually bring in a PHOTO of your baby and have them make an exact replica! Now that is just going too far.  I mean honestly, if my parents were storing a seren faced and recreated baby in the attic or worse on display somewhere in the living room, I really would not be comfortable with that.

And did I mention how much these cost?...$2,000 to $3,000, yea that is two to three THOUSAND. So aside from the fact that someone came up with the idea to create this, which is already bizarre, the fact that there is even a market for it in this city where people are spending $3000 on a fake baby is even more disturbing!

Now I had to ask what kind of person would even be interested in this.  


Thiara said firstly that a lot of young girls who play with baby dolls want these because it makes them feel so much more realistic.  This reason I can excuse because as a kid girls love to play house and these things, and I probably would have loved to have a baby that looked so real.  (Okay, it still doesn't excuse the parent's that are spending $3000 on a toy for their daughter...but I'll give this one a pass)


The second reason is that mothers want to have a replica of their baby as a baby for the rest of their life.  This reason is a little less easy to understand.  I mean don't you think technology has gone a little too far this time? Or maybe not, maybe people felt this way about photography when it was first invented and that it would be weird to hold on to a photo of your baby forever...but I don't think so since there were paintings before that capturing the images of babies and people forever...anyway I really don't see this as the same thing.


And the third reason, the most disturbing, is that apparently women who can't have kids like to buy these babies to pretend...yea that reason goes over the top and way out of the reality.  


On the up side, Thiara and I decided that if people in this city have enough money to blow $3000 on a plastic baby doll then they certainly have enough money to buy some paintings...haha we'll see.

HAPPY EASTER!

Another grossly realistic baby, this one to look like a newborn...

A VIDA COMO PINTORA

(life as a painter)

Deciding what to paint is always such a process, especially when I haven't painted for a while.  I had done a lot of thinking and sketching in the weeks before this in preparation for when I would have a studio, but the truth is thinking and planning your artwork will never get you as far as actually DOING it will. 

My studio here in Indaiatuba, and just the start of some new paintings.

I actually just finished a book that talked about this, “Art and Fear”. It spoke about a pottery teacher who separated his class in two, explaining that half the class would be graded ONLY on the quantity of pottery made (that if you made 50 pots by the end of the semester and everyone else made less, regardless of how well the pots were done, you receive an A, simple enough) and the other half would be graded ONLY on the quality (that they need ONLY to make one pot the whole semester and would be solely graded on how well that one pot turned out.)

Stage one of painting of
corner building in Sao Paulo.

But here's the kicker, at the end of the semester who made the best pots?...the group that would be graded on quantity.  Why?  Because, simply put, practice makes perfect.  While the quality group was sitting around thinking about how to make a perfect pot, the quantity group was getting to work...and learning how to do it.  So...contrary to what philosophers might argue, thinking really doesn't get you as far as doing.  

For years I've noticed this problem in art classes.  I have seen countless numbers of my peers produce somewhat amateur work and complain that it doesn't come easy to them, or worse, spend their time worrying about whether or not they are 'talented' enough.  Which is flat out a waste of time, whether you are talented or not is essentially irrelevant.  There are many people in the world who are 'talented' and yet don't produce anything, while many people who aren't particularly 'talented' become extremely successful.  The bottom line is, if you work more and think less you will save yourself a lot of trouble.  

Stage one of painting of typical Brazilian neighborhood.

It's not complicated yet people don't do it, I dont get it.  If you want to be a better painter, paint.  If you want to be a better soccer player, play soccer, if you want to be a better scientist, practice science, if you want to be better at a language, study.  Spending your time giving credit to words like "inspiration" and "talent" only place doubt in your mind, holding you back from your potential.  

I once had some classmates actually say to me during a critique, "You don't understand because it comes easy to you."  This is what frustrates me. They are dismissing my hard work as talent, or the not so subtle underlying meaning of luck.  But again regardless of if you are talented or not, it is the hard work that makes the end result.  And I might add, everything gets easier the more you do it.  We can assume that in the pottery class there were probably talented people in both groups of quality and quantity as well as not so talented people in both groups.  But as the study proves, although talent surely plays some role in success, it is time and effort that matters more.  So of course it looks like it comes easy to me, because I have worked extremely hard for it to look that way.  

Stage one of painting of Brazilian small
town streets. 

As my high school dance teacher always said, if it looks hard to do, you aren't doing it right.  When watching ballerinas leap across a stage as if they were born to leap rather than walk, you escape into the fantasy forgetting completely about the years of training that must have gone into just that one spin or step.  Yet the second one of them falls, suddenly you are taken out of the moment and into the reality that, regardless of it's polished performance, it actually is very difficult to do. 


It's the same with painting.  Most viewers think they could paint any abstract painting, because of its simple color and shapes.  And yea anyone can mix colors and draw shapes, but not in the way a great painter can.  Just as anyone can jump on a stage in a tutu but not in the way a ballerina can.  

Back to my point, I don't know what I want my painting series in Brazil to be, but for now I’m just getting to work and will see where it takes me.  I do know, however that I don't want to paint people, at least not for now.  After my last series, I am exhausted from portraits and need to do something with more freedom.  So for now I have started painting scenery and archeticure from various cities and neighborhoods here in Brazil...I will see where to go from there when the time comes.  Maybe it will just warm me up for something else or maybe it will turn into my main direction, who knows?  But Im enjoying it, and Im working, what more is there?

Not sure what stage...of painting of poorer neighborhood in Sao Paulo.

KIND KARENS

I can finally report that, if I do say so myself, I have made some seriously impressive improvements in my Portuguese.  I can casually have conversations now with everyone and can finally explain about my day and talk relatively comfortably and carry on conversations.  Daniel’s sister and I talk all the time about our day, and plans, and art, and family and anything.  (Of course I can understand her more than anyone else, I think because we think similarly so when she uses hand gestures somehow we know exactly what we are talking about.  She did the same gestures to her husband and he had no idea what she was saying haha.)  I only know present and simple past, and even the simple past I don’t really know the irregular verbs.  But considering I’m teaching myself this language, I’m feeling pretty good about where I’m at right now. 

My vocabulary is pretty damn good, for only six weeks studying that is.  I’ve memorized over 1000 words and really just need to focus on verb conjugations, prepositions (which are always a pain in the butt) and sentence formation.  With my vocabulary people can certainly understand me which is good, but they understand me with really awful grammar. 

So starting this Tuesday, Karen, my closest friend thus far, and I are going to exchange language classes twice a week.  We will do half an hour English class and half hour Portuguese. This way I can be sure to keep improving my Portuguese at a quick rate. 

Karen and I in her parents pool for her birthday

Karen is Daniel’s brother in law’s brother’s wife. She become my closest friend here and is a deeply kind person.  Weeks ago when I was having a hard time adjusting and broke down crying Karen came over and made me feel better, listening to me and even insisted on taking me out to dinner to a nice Arabic restaurant (which by the way is so common here they have ‘fast food’ Arabic food...random.)

The next night she had invited me to her house to watch a movie with her and her friend Danielle. Danielle's accent in English reminds me exactly of a Swiss exchange student, Sanja, we hosted at my mom’s house years ago.  I really liked Sanja, and there is something about Danielle that has a very similar vibe, her energy and smile.  It made me feel comfortable with her.

Danielle has never been on a plane, and she said she doesn’t think she would ever be able to live in another country, that she would ever have the guts.  But I told her I never thought I would either.  Growing up I never traveled, my family never went on a trip to Hawaii, or even to Los Angeles.  We didn’t have any money for it, and yet here I am.  You never know where life will take you, or better yet where you will take it.  If someone had told 16 year old me that in 6 years I would be living in Brazil speaking Portuguese and painting (which by the way my 16 year old self didn't know how to do) with my Brazilian boyfriend...I would have been in awe just with the possibility.

That night the three of us, Karen, Danielle and I bought four kinds of popcorn; regular, pizza, bacon, and chocolate flavored (I really like popcorn), and ate all of it watching HUGO; in English with Portuguese subtitles.  I realized that night, how, although things had been tough here I am really lucky that I come from an English speaking country. 

Churrasco!

If I were from Germany for example, or any non English speaking country, I wouldn’t even be able to HAVE a friend until I learned Portuguese, I wouldn’t be able to vent about my day to Karen, at least not at that point, and I certainly wouldn’t be able to watch a movie.  So putting it all into perspective, I was feeling a lot better about things.   

Since then Karen and I have hung out a lot, and last weekend she invited me to her parent’s house in Campinas to celebrate her birthday.  We spent the day eating churrasco (which is basically barbeque but with an unbelievable variety of meat and way better flavor) and swimming in their pool.  It’s really nice to finally have a good friend here. 

Aside from my new friendship and Portuguese improvements, work has also been going really great.  I like my job here even more the two my jobs I had in California, and I really liked those.  I’ve been teaching and tutoring for different schools and companies over the last five years, and I consistently like teaching more the older my students are, regardless of the subject matter.  Until now the oldest I had taught was when tutoring a 16 year old girl in AP Art History.  Here I get to teach adults, in their 30’s and 40’s, which is even more exciting and fulfilling. 

It isn’t just the age of students I love, it’s the method of teaching. At the other school that hired me, the method was very strict and you had to follow a specific set of rules, only repeating one conversation over and over, a conversation that would be written out for me.  It would have been so boring for me, but with the Callan method I’m allowed so much freedom. 

Basically I am given 5-7 vocabulary words per lesson, and sometimes one or two grammar rules and my job is to explain what the words mean.  But the fun part is that there is no translation allowed.  So I need to explain in English what each word means, using descriptions, synonyms, hand gestures, examples, and drawing. 

I’ve always loved games like Taboo (which I’m excellent at by the way) and Outburst and Cranium and Charades, and that’s basically what I do for teaching.  We laugh and joke a lot in class about my drawings or the examples I come up with.  And then after they understand the vocabulary words, we get to talk about whatever we want, as long as we somehow include the vocabulary in the lesson and I correct their grammar and pronunciation.  So I am getting paid to talk (which I love) and play (which I love).  And the best part is that I can really see the improvement in their English and how much fun they are having in my class.  

Kind of unrelated, but a grocery store opened
up last week and it was quite the event, there
was free cotton candy, popcorn, people on
stilts and the place was so crowded at one
point Daniel was even throwing food over
the aisle into our cart.

I really feel so lucky to have met my boss, whose name, confusingly, is also Karen.  The universe really helped me out this time putting her in my life.  Without her I would be lost here. She has opened all doors for me.  She has given me a room at the school to use as my studio, which I have already started painting in which is great! It has a sink and it’s own entrance and gave me the key.  It’s really my own space and I love it.  She also has taken me out comparing prices and helping me get the right art supplies.  Which is something that doing by myself, without a car, getting directions and attempting to explain materials and sizes in Portuguese would have been very exhausting for me to do alone.  She has done everything here to make things easier for me and I am really grateful for it. 

Speaking of opening doors, I start my art class this Tuesday.  Which I am so nervous excited about.  I really never had the intension of being an entrepreneur, but somehow my life seems to be going in that direction. I have either 7 or 8 kids enrolled for this week.  The first week is a free trial week so I really have to get the kids and parents excited about my class to enroll for the rest of the month.  It’s kind of a lot of pressure, but good. 

Julia, Daniel's niece on the store's opening day

The only thing is that I need to juggle between making it good for the kids as well as the parents, whom biologically have very different ideas of a worth while time.  I need to create an atmosphere first and foremost that the kids have fun, and secondly I need to really try to make some kind of product that they parents can see at the end of the month, both in art and in English, since the parents are paying for their kids to take art classes IN English for full emersion. They are only ages 3-5 so the artwork can’t be expected to have a great outcome.  At this age art is really about the process, so I told Karen she needs to really push that idea onto the parents so they don’t have the wrong expectations. 

We decided on having a different theme each month.  The first month’s theme is “shapes and colors”, and I think this week will JUST be circles.  I have a lot of different art projects with circles and looked up some very simple rhymes and songs that we can sing about circles.  So IDEALLY at the end of the week, the kids maybe will be able to actually say the word “circle” in English and have some circle artwork to take home….this is the IDEA, but since I’ve never really done this before it will really be an experiment for me as well… But its exciting experiment at that.

Detail from my, in progress, wall art for the classroom.

Speaking of exciting experiments, Karen has let me completely take over the class room.  She said I could do anything I wanted with it including painting the walls. In only a few hours I completely covered one wall with a jungle scene for kids including the names in English of the animals and scenery.  It was way easier than I thought, and fun.  Karen and I realized that I could probably start my own business here painting baby rooms.

I really couldn’t have found a better person to meet up with here.  And it isn’t just the opportunities, its that she is my friend as well, and I am really happy and lucky to have her.